As most of you know, my mother, Carmen, is in a nursing home. She has been there several years. The last year has been difficult for me as she continues to decline with her Alzheimer’s.
We spent time over the holidays when I went out to take her the gifts I had bought. She doesn’t need much – so, I always buy her clothes. She knew it was me…and called me by name. Well, she wasn’t too excited about the clothes – but her eyes lit up when I told her I had some perfume for her.
We talked for a while – and somewhere along the line I ceased to be her daughter and became her sister. In her mind, I was one of her sisters – and as I was leaving she told me to tell the rest of her sisters hello for her.
Before I left the nursing home I spoke with the chaplain. She told me that mother is always happy, always smiling, and just seems to love everyone. She never complains – unless something really hurts (like her hand a few weeks ago – and they made a splint for her to use when she sleeps) and is always thrilled to speak to those who stop to say hi to her. She said that for someone who is partially blind and can’t hear very well – she has a very happy life. She told me that the nurses wish every patient was as easy to care for and care about as my mom. She is very happy in her world.
When I told my sister, Mary Ellen, about it – she said “Well, look at it this way – you were able to make her happy today – once as her daughter and the other as her sister…She got a two-fer for the price of one…”
Maybe I should think more like my sister – and accept the fact that mother will not be the person that she was even five years ago…and accept that even though she does not totally know me sometimes – I still bring her pleasure by being there with her and sharing part of her day.
The art of acceptance is very hard – but, this year I will be more accepting of my mom’s disease.
The cowl was knit with one skein Lion Brand Yarn called Amazing in the colorway Strawberry Fields.
Fabric n Fiber Fanatic 